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Where did my dress go? My shoes...I don't see them. They should be right here! Look over there! You don't remember what the hell we were wearing?" The more frantic we became, the more the clothes from everyone in the room started looking like one big pile you might drop off at Goodwill. The frustration in finding things only added to the our growing sense of hysteria over Kim's condition. Eventually we ended up with stuff that sort of resembled what we had worn into the room and after struggling to dress our "star mother of the night," we headed out the door only to hit contraction number two. This one was harder and according to Ash only eight minutes apart. Don't ask me how she knew. Timing contractions seems an important bit of data to an experienced mom. "I've got to sit again. Please. I can't walk. Why are these so strong? And so close together? This is getting scary. Is my baby coming soon? Do you think we can make it to the hospital?"Ash is "Mom calm," the rational adult in. .. um ... Grandpa Jones," God choked out. "You were brought here for a specific reason. We must get to the purpose of this meeting now! The fate of the human race depends on it!" Okay," Grandpa sighed. "What's the problem? I'll try to help you out."God's eyes bulged slightly, and he had to take several deep breaths before he was able to say, "Man's atrocities have greatly offended me. The sins of the wicked go unpunished, and mankind refuses to oppose evil. The human race is going to be destroyed unless you can give me a reason not to destroy them." You're right," Grandpa Jones said with a shrug."Huh?" God asked"You're right," Grandpa Jones repeated. "The world's going to hell in a hand-basket. There's more than a few the world would be better off without, let me tell you," he continued, warming up to his subject. "I think the world would be a much better place if you just kill all the lawyers and politicians. For a little spice, you can throw in about half the preachers. You can't.
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